Kajol has always been Bollywood’s most unfiltered star — someone who says what most celebrities hesitate to admit. In a recent candid conversation, she did it again, revealing that her relationship with daughter Nysa Devgan was not always the close, confiding bond it is today. It was built through three turbulent years of conflict, hormonal chaos, and a mother’s conscious decision to stop fighting and start listening.
When Hormones Hit, Everything Changed
Kajol welcomed Nysa in April 2003, and for the first several years, motherhood felt like an exam she was determined to pass. But when Nysa turned 12, everything shifted. “Hormones hit and she was just 12, and we were all over the place. We were fighting, and we were both irrational at times. We were both illogical at times,” Kajol said openly. What followed was nearly three years of emotional distance — the kind most parents recognise but rarely talk about publicly.
“We both struggled for nearly 3 years. Both of us were like, ‘I don’t want to listen to you. I don’t want to talk to you,'” she revealed. The honesty in that admission is striking. It takes courage for any parent, let alone a public figure, to acknowledge that the parent-child relationship can completely break down before it is rebuilt.
The Turning Point: Listening Over Lecturing
The change came when Kajol made a deliberate, conscious choice. As the adult in the room, she decided to be the rational one. “I decided that no, I am not going to fight with her that much. I am going to try to talk to her as much as I can and work with her,” she shared. But what made the real difference was not talking more — it was talking less and listening more.
“It became more about me sitting down and listening to her. She just needed me to just sit there and listen to her as much as I could. That was my biggest learning as a parent,” Kajol said. This shift from monologue to dialogue transformed their relationship entirely. Today, Kajol speaks of Nysa with unmistakable pride: “We’re okay today” — a quiet but powerful statement from a mother who clearly fought hard to earn that peace.
The Gen Z Paradox: Too Much Information, Too Little Clarity
Beyond her personal experience with Nysa, Kajol offered a broader perspective on what makes raising Gen Z genuinely different from previous generations. Her central observation was that young people today are not lacking information — they are drowning in it. Unlike millennials or 90s kids who had to seek out answers, Gen Z is bombarded with opinions, advice, and contradictory content from every direction, making decision-making harder, not easier.
Kajol’s affection for her own 90s upbringing comes from exactly this contrast. She believes 90s kids carry a unique adaptability — they grew up with the discipline of life before smartphones and then adapted to the digital world as it arrived. Gen Z, on the other hand, has never known a world without that noise. The overload is not just digital; it is emotional and psychological too, and Kajol believes parents must factor this in before they judge their teenagers.
Why Kajol’s Parenting Philosophy Matters
Kajol’s parenting approach has evolved in fascinating ways over the years. She has spoken previously about how arguments with Nysa over food at the dining table became unexpected lessons in personal growth — moments where she had to admit her daughter was right. “I’m a very opinionated person… and to change my opinion, you would need to debate with me and convince me. The real surprise came when my children could do that to me without saying too much,” she reflected. Being a Bollywood icon did not make her immune to being outsmarted by her own child.
She has also spoken about the relentless paparazzi culture that hounded Nysa from as young as 14, calling it “not correct” and “not right”. Raising a child in the spotlight adds an entirely different layer of complexity — one where privacy, self-worth, and identity formation are all under constant public scrutiny. Despite that, Kajol says Nysa handles it with “more grace” than she does. She has even praised Nysa for facing social media trolling with “dignity and grace,” saying, “When I look at her, I feel, my God, she is the woman we all want to be”.
What Every Parent Can Take Away From This
Kajol’s story is not really a celebrity story — it is every parent’s story. The years between a child turning 12 and 15 are among the most confusing and conflict-ridden in any family’s life. What Kajol’s experience teaches is that the most powerful parenting tool during those years is not authority or discipline — it is presence and patience. The willingness to sit down, stay quiet, and truly hear your child out can rebuild a relationship that feels completely broken.
The shift from being a parent who lectures to one who listens is harder than it sounds, especially for someone as self-admittedly opinionated as Kajol. That she chose to make that shift, stuck with it through three difficult years, and came out the other side with a strong, trust-based relationship with her daughter, is a lesson worth carrying far beyond Bollywood.
Can you relate to Kajol’s parenting journey with Nysa? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
